My Terrifying First Time on Television and the Friend Who Made It Happen, By Kadaria Ahmed

In March 2011, I stood in front of a television camera for the very first time.

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Until then, my journalism career had largely been behind the scenes. I had started at the BBC in London, mostly in radio, working as a producer. I had spent a short time attached to television, producing some content, but I had deliberately never fronted a show.

Television brings a level of visibility that exacts a price, and I had always been quite comfortable doing the work without being the face of it.

By 2011, I was back in Nigeria, serving as Editor of NEXT, widely regarded as one of the country’s strongest investigative newspapers.

Then the call came.

My former BBC colleague and dear friend, Uduak Amimo, had moved to NN24, the news channel founded by Tony Dara. NN24, in collaboration with CNN, was organising Nigeria’s 2011 Presidential Debate; an ambitious effort to bring together those seeking to lead the country and ask them the questions Nigerians wanted answered.

The hope was bigger than just one broadcast. The hope was to begin institutionalising televised debates as part of Nigeria’s democratic culture, a platform for publicly questioning power.

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CNN had selected one of its popular anchors at the time, Jonathan Mann, to moderate the debate. But there was a view that he should be paired with a Nigerian journalist who understood the country’s political terrain intimately.

Uduak suggested me.

Jonathan would bring international television experience. I would bring local political context.
On paper, it made sense.

In reality, I was terrified.

I had resisted television my entire career, and now I was being asked to anchor one of the most important political broadcasts of that election season. But Uduak was persuasive and completely confident that I could do it. Eventually, I said yes.

Preparation began immediately.

The debates were designed in two phases: the Vice Presidential debate on March 11, 2011, followed by the Presidential debate on March 18, 2011. Both were to be held at the Transcorp Hilton in Abuja, where we were also lodged.

The day before the first debate, Jonathan and I met with the NN24 Presidential Debate Committee. This group included respected Nigerians such as Mallam Mohammed Haruna, Ambassador Joe Keshi and others brought together to help shape the process. Together, we worked through the key sectors—the economy, education, security, healthcare, and governance—narrowing down the questions that needed to be asked.
After that meeting, Jonathan and I went into the hall to rehearse.

Where we would stand.

Who would handle which segments.

How the transitions would work.

Gradually, my fear began to mix with something else, excitement. There was something deeply satisfying about the opportunity to question those seeking to lead the country.

Everything seemed to be falling into place.

Then, two hours before we were due to go on air, everything changed.

CNN pulled out.

I was not part of the conversations that led to that decision, but the rumour at the time was that the ruling party, the PDP and the president, Goodluck Jonathan, had declined to participate in the debate. CNN, concerned about perceptions of neutrality, withdrew.

Which meant Jonathan Mann was gone.

And suddenly, I was alone.

Try to imagine that moment.

I had never anchored a television programme before. And now I was about to moderate a national vice-presidential debate by myself.

I panicked.

I remember telling everyone quite plainly: I cannot do this.

But the NN24 team, especially Uduak and Tony, refused to accept that. They reassured me repeatedly that I could do it.

Eventually, with far more anxiety than confidence, I agreed to try.

That Vice Presidential debate went ahead on March 11, 2011, even though the PDP candidate, Namadi Sambo, did not attend. If you watch the video carefully, you will notice something peculiar: I keep licking my lips.

My mouth had gone completely dry. I was so nervous and terrified of messing up that it never occurred to me to take a sip of water.

It was easily one of the most frightening and most satisfying experiences of my career.

That night marked the beginning of my journey in television.

And the truth is, it might never have happened without Uduak Amimo.

She believed in my ability long before I did.

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For that, I remain deeply grateful.

Sadly, Uduak and I have since lost touch. Somewhere along the way, I offended her, not knowingly and certainly not deliberately. I have tried several times to apologise, but she has chosen not to accept it. That is entirely her prerogative.

Still, I miss her friendship terribly.

If she ever reads this, I hope she knows how much her friendship meant to me and how deeply I regret not handling the moments leading up to our parting with greater care.
And I still hope that one day she might find it in her heart to forgive me.