‘Why men aren’t wired to be committed to one partner’

Senegalese-American singer Akon has sparked debate after suggesting that men are not naturally wired for commitment, arguing that most relationship problems women face stem from infidelity.

The five-time Grammy-nominated musician made the remarks during a recent interview with The Shade Room, where he spoke at length about relationships, gender dynamics, and his personal views on fidelity.

According to Akon, men are naturally inclined to have multiple partners and are not designed to remain committed to one woman.

“Men aren’t committed. We’re not built to be committed. We’re natural breeders by nature, right? Okay. We populate because that’s how God created us. So we can’t be committed to one, two, three. That’s not ours; we’re not wired to be committed,” he said.

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The 53-year-old, however, drew a line between commitment and what he described as “faithfulness”, insisting that a man could remain emotionally loyal despite being involved with other women.

“But faithfulness is something totally different. I could be with a chick and be with her forever through all the problems. No matter what, I can find the baddest chick alive and have my main chick, and I’m just using this as an example. I could be in a hotel, and she busts down the door, and I’m knee-deep in there, and I’m going to jump off and be like, ‘ Babe, I don’t even know her.’ She’s out of here. Like, I wouldn’t even know her. She means nothing to me because this is what I’m faithful to.

“But just hear me out. How many men do you know who will fight for that one because of the mistake they made with something that didn’t matter to them? That’s faithfulness. That’s creating that energy to fight for it. Now commitment, we are guilty. We’re not committed. We’ll be with multiple women.

“That’s just who we are. We can’t; that’s nature. Nature created that. We didn’t create that. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a coincidence that every single woman on this planet, if they have a problem with their spouse, it’s over another woman. Think about it,” he stated.

Gender dynamics

Speaking on gender dynamics, the 2007 American Music Awards Favourite Soul/R&B Male Artist winner described women as highly intelligent and emotionally aware, while suggesting that men have learned to navigate those traits.

The “Smack That” crooner went further, arguing that relationship issues among women are almost always tied to another woman.

“Every chick that got a problem with their man is over another chick. 99.9%. Do you think that’s a coincidence? That ain’t no coincidence. That’s nature.

“Women, first of all, are the smartest human beings on the planet. You guys can multitask better than anybody in this world. One thing about women is that you guys know us better than we know ourselves.

“We understand that women’s primary power is emotion. So what we do, we perfect the art of emotion… It makes it seem like it’s manipulation because it went over your head, but we caught it,” he said.

Pushing Wizkid, Africa focus

Speaking about Wizkid, he clarified that the singer was discovered by Banky W, but that Banky W later helped push his career internationally.

“I didn’t discover Wizkid. Banky W discovered Wizkid. And then I signed Wizkid through Banky W. So that’s how that collaboration went.

“So when I went to Nigeria, Banky brought me Wiz, and I was like, bro, this kid is a star.’ But obviously, they had limited resources. So when I signed Wiz, that’s when we broke him out of the United States,” he said.

Quizzed on whether he sees himself as the biggest artiste to come out of Africa, he replied that “that’s for the audience to decide, really. I can’t really decide. But if I had to say, if I were the first to grow on a global scale, I could actually say. But I can’t say if I’m the biggest.”

Akon said his reduced visibility in the United States eventually stemmed from his decision to focus on Africa, particularly Nigeria.

The American-born star said that after promoting his Freedom album, he moved into the Nigerian music space, working with artists and contributing to what has now become the global Afrobeats wave.

“What made the run in America kind of slow down was that I took more time to focus on Africa. Oh. Yeah. So in 2008, after I dropped my last Freedom album, I promoted it in the US for about two years. 2010 came; I produced the World Cup, and then I went straight to Nigeria. And focused on Nigeria there.

“And that’s when everything slowed down because it was around there when I was working with Wizkid, and we started moving, then I went into the P-Square era. So my goal was to give the platform to Nigeria so they can have that option to be able to… Because the music was just too amazing. But we didn’t have a platform then.

“Everything was like black magic, I call it. Because you felt we were in Africa, but then, when you left, nobody really knew about it. But then in the UK, they helped a lot because they helped emerge and open up the market, so I can even sell it,” he said.

READ ALSO: How costly mistake stopped Nigeria from becoming world’s financial capital – Akon

The 53-year-old also explained that early in his career, his sound was hard to categorise, with people unsure if it was hip-hop, R&B, or reggae. He added that working with Styles P helped place him in the hip-hop space, even though he doesn’t see himself as a rapper.

Akon rose to global prominence in 2004 with “Locked Up” and went on to become one of the defining voices of the 2000s, blending R&B, hip-hop, and African influences.

Beyond his music, he is also known for supporting and developing global stars through his record labels.

In May 2025, Akon faced intense backlash from Nigerians for claiming he created the Afrobeats genre and brought it to the country, which critics dismissed as a rewriting of history.

In September 2025, reports surfaced that Akon’s wife of nearly 30 years, Tomeka Thiam, filed for divorce.