Three years after announcing her divorce, veteran Nollywood actress Ireti Doyle has explained why she chose to keep the collapse of her marriage to Patrick Doyle away from public scrutiny.
The 2013 Best Actress in a Leading Role at the Golden Icons Academy Movie Awards (GIAMA), spoke during an interview on The Morayo Show, where she addressed long-standing public curiosity about her divorce and the lessons she has drawn from the experience.
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PREMIUM TIMES reported that Ireti, in January 2023, confirmed that her marriage to her now ex-husband had officially ended.
Responding on the show to a question on why both parties remained silent at the time of their separation, Ireti said the decision was intentional, rooted in her belief in privacy.
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The Ondo-born actress noted that her private life was never for public consumption.
“First of all, you didn’t hear anything because it was none of your business. My life is private. Two people come together and decide to get married. There’s a celebration. If you do it right, you have a few friends and family around you, and you carry on with life.
“Sadly, unfortunately, something goes on, you can no longer continue on the life journey together. The only people you owe any explanation to at all are those small family and friends that gathered on day one,” she stated.
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The former TV presenter maintained that the wider public has no stake in the intimate details of a failed marriage, stressing that she would never subject herself to public spectacle.
“You see this larger audience that you’re performing for? They do not care. And God forbid, I don’t know about you and you people watching, but I personally will never knowingly give myself up as clickbait,” she said.
Advice to other women
Offering pointed advice to women navigating divorce, Ireti cautioned against turning personal pain into online content.
“Why are you bleeding all over the internet, madam? And I’m talking to my sisters. You’re not going to win. So, who are you explaining your matter to? You spend, you know, the end of a relationship, any relationship, talk less of a long-term marriage, is painful,” the actress stated.
Reflecting on the emotional toll of divorce, the Nollywood star described the end of a long-term relationship as deeply painful, often accompanied by self-doubt and introspection.
“Whatever the circumstances, not apportioning blame, it is painful. One of the things you do is second-guess yourself; you second-guess your judgment. Did I do right? Am I making the right decisions?
“You need to spend all that energy to sit down, go deep within, understand what went wrong for the sole purpose of not making the same mistakes again,” Ireti stated.
The 58-year-old actress advised individuals going through similar situations to redirect their focus towards personal growth and future aspirations rather than public validation.
Shock at her children
The movie star also spoke about the effect of the separation on their children, noting that her decision to leave the marriage took longer because of them.
“That was one of the reasons why it took me a tad longer… because I factored in the children.
Out of all the people affected, I think theirs is more because you have their reality shattered… their security shattered.”
The 2016 Africa Movie Academy Awards(AMAA) nominated actress revealed that the early period after the separation was particularly difficult, especially in navigating emotions within their blended family.
“Ours was a blended family. I don’t call them stepchildren. I had children. My husband had children before I married him. The first year was rough. My boys didn’t understand why. It took them a while to understand why. There was a bit of resentment, understandably so.
And for a while they didn’t speak to me, understandably so.”
Despite this, the Wedding Party 2 actress said she remained committed to her role as a mother, stressing that her responsibility did not end with the marriage.
“When I married him, I took on the responsibility of raising these children. My oldest boy was five. My youngest boy was 18 months old. I left when he was in his early 20s. They’re my boys.
“I decided to leave, right? So if you make a decision that affects several other people, you’re kind of responsible for the damage that you cause or whatever ripple effect that that may have,” she stated.
Ireti stressed that children must never be made to suffer for issues between their parents.
“The children have nothing to do with what went wrong between you and your partner. They should not be collateral damage. It might be rough in the early days, but the onus is on you to make sure that they’re comfortable,” the Ondo-born actress said.
Backstory
Ireti and Patrick Doyle were married for over a decade in 2004. The former couple raised a blended family of six children.
They met when the former was still a student at the University of Jos, where she studied theatre arts. Reports of their separation emerged around 2017, though both continued to appear publicly together for some time.
READ ALSO: Patrick Doyle and I are officially divorced – Ireti Doyle
In her 2023 interview with Chude Jideonwo, she stated that “she had no business being married” at the time.
The 58-year-old revealed that she believed marrying at 26 was a mistake, stating that she “had no business being married” at that stage of her life. It noted that the widely perceived image of a “perfect marriage” did not reflect the reality behind closed doors.
Following the end of the marriage, Patrick Doyle moved on and remarried in 2022 to Olufunmilayo, publicly confirming the union in 2023.
Mr Doyle has since described himself as being in “a happier phase” of his life.
He also expressed pride in the Doyle name, noting that it had contributed to Ireti’s public identity, while commending her for maintaining a successful career and upholding the name.
One notable public moment after their separation occurred in 2019, when Patrick Doyle issued a public apology on social media, admitting he had “screwed up” in the relationship.
However, this did not lead to a reconciliation.
Despite the divorce, Ireti has continued to use the name “Ireti Doyle,” explaining that it remains an important part of her professional identity and a name she has built her career around.
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