Breaking the stigma of male victims of GBV

For decades, the narrative around Gender-Based Violence (GBV) has been dominated by the plight of women with men often portrayed as the perpetrators.

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However, the story of John Adegoke, a 35-year-old father of two, tells a different side of this issue.

One night, Mr Adegoke’s wife became enraged, and the situation regrettably turned violent, leaving him with a broken arm and a shattered sense of self-worth.

“I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I didn’t know where to turn or who to talk to. I felt like I was all alone,” he recalled.

Mr Adegoke is not the only man with such an experience.

Michael Osunbor, a 28-year-old entrepreneur, found himself a victim of abuse.

Mr Osunbor’s partner was emotionally and verbally abusive, constantly belittling him, calling him names, and threatening to leave him.

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“I felt like I was walking on eggshells around her. I never knew what would trigger her anger. I felt like I was losing myself in the relationship,” Mr Osunbor recounts.

Messrs Adegoke and Osunbor’s stories are not isolated incidents.

In fact, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), one in six men will experience some form of GBV in their lifetime.

Furthermore, a study by the National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) in Nigeria shows that 16 per cent of men reported experiencing physical violence, while 12 per cent reported emotional violence.

In spite of these statistics, male victims of GBV often face significant barriers when seeking help.

Societal norms surrounding masculinity make it difficult for men to admit they are victims.

Many feel ashamed or embarrassed and may fear being perceived as weak.

Sulaiman Abaya, a legal practitioner, says men also suffer domestic violence, which can take psychological, economic or physical forms.

He decries the lack of recognition and support for male victims of GBV.

“Even international conventions, protocols, and charters, which are domesticated locally, focus primarily on women as victims, with little emphasis on men. This is the root of the skewed narrative,” Mr Abaya observes.

He explained that men are socialised to appear strong and stoic, which often discourages them from seeking help. This leads to a lack of support services tailored to male victims.

READ ALSO: GBV: Nigerian minister rolls out activities for 16 days of activism

The consequences of this silence, according to human rights advocates, can be devastating.

Male victims of GBV are likely to suffer mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety.

Moreover, they may turn to risky behaviours, such as substance abuse, as a coping mechanism.

Rosemary Smith, a human rights activist, expresses these sentiments.

She notes that societal perceptions of masculinity often force male victims to suffer in silence.

“Men who experience GBV are often left without access to the support services they need.

“This can have serious consequences for their physical and mental health, and it perpetuates a cycle of violence and silence,” she says.

Ms Smith emphasises the need to break down the stigma surrounding male victims and dismantle stereotypes about GBV.

To achieve this, she calls for inclusive support services that address the unique needs of both men and women.

“We need to create a safe and supportive environment where men feel comfortable coming forward and seeking help.

“This requires a fundamental shift in the way we think about GBV and recognition that men can be victims too,” she explains.

Mr Abaya suggests that collecting data on GBV against men is critical.

In addition, he advocates for robust campaigns to raise awareness and encourage men to report cases of abuse.

“Human rights agencies should begin to recognise men’s rights. There could even be dedicated platforms, such as Facebook pages, for reporting GBV against men.

“Similarly, support systems should be put in place to help male victims,” he recommends.

In addition to providing support, Samuel Chukwu, a Benin-based family adviser and counsellor, underscores the importance of addressing the root causes of GBV.

He highlights the need to challenge societal norms around masculinity and power.

“We need to challenge the societal norms that perpetuate GBV and promote a culture of equality and respect.

“This requires collective efforts from the government, civil society, and individuals,” Mr Chukwu says.

He also identifies counselling, advocacy, and other tailored forms of support as essential measures to address the issue and help victims heal.

Similarly, Christy Ipinlaye of the Olive Foundation stresses the importance of awareness.

According to her, public campaigns, community outreach, and education are key to breaking the stigma and encouraging men to report cases of abuse.

As the world concludes the 2024 16 Days of Activism Against GBV, it is vital to remember the often-overlooked victims of this societal menace.

By breaking down the stigma and providing tailored support services, society can move closer to a world where everyone lives free from violence and fear.

(NANFeatures)