How I ended up with a philanderer, gay man, before marrying Reuben Abati

Kikelomo Atanda-Owo, the wife of veteran journalist has spoken about her previous failed marriages.

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PREMIUM TIMES reported that Mr Abati, a former adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan, unveiled Kikelomo, the CEO and Chief Consultant of Z-Edge Holdings, as his third wife in 2023.

Speaking during an interview on media personality Morayo Afolabi-Brown’s “The Morayo Show”, the marketing communications executive revealed that she experienced two failed marriages before meeting Mr Abati.

She appeared alongside the 60-year-old journalist in the interview, which was posted on the show’s YouTube channel on Wednesday.

Reflecting on her past, Ms Atanda-Owo explained that those experiences shaped her appreciation for finding a partner who genuinely values and respects her.

Past experiences

Opening up, she said: “I’m so happy to be here to explain to other women and people behind me to understand that love can find you again. I’m a woman who has been divorced twice. I allowed it the best way I could. And my scars, I’ve been burnt, but my scars have healed, and I’ve found victory. And in that victory, there is healing first. So you must first see yourself before you can align with someone else.

“For a woman who has been divorced twice, first off, I married a gay person without me knowing. Let me put it out there. And the second one was the biggest philandering abuser. She (Morayo) knows part of the story. And today, looking back, I have no regrets whatsoever because when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘How better would I have had the children if not through these experiences?’ So God blessed me with the greatest investment of my life.”

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Intentional partners

Additionally, the entrepreneur explained that she went through that experience because she rushed into love and due to her personal background.

Offering advice to both women and men, she emphasised that someone may seem reasonable, but not be right for them, highlighting the importance of finding a partner who truly suits them.

“You must find somebody who will align with your journey. And I think that’s the reason why the universe provided me with one of the greatest, most prominent voices Africa has ever produced. And today, when I’m telling my story, I’m thankful, I’m grateful to God that I had a man who saw my value. I had a man who met me when I had clarity, when I had purpose.

“Many people who are out there, sometimes you find yourself in certain relationships because of what the world will say, because of how you feel depressed with yourself, how you got to that place. You must first of all understand yourself and why you make the choices you make and the patterns that you make”, said Ms Atanda-Owo.

She revealed that, at one point in her life, when a man told her he loved her, she automatically assumed he intended to marry her.

The entrepreneur also clarified that she did not condemn anyone for being gay, but emphasised that such individuals should marry within themselves rather than deceive others.

She said, “My parents never lived under the same roof. And at some point, when my dad relocated, I was living in a different house where my grandmother, Alhaja, passed away. And at that point, when you tell me you love me, automatically, it means you want to marry me.

“So, every guy that comes my way, and you say you love me, I believe them. Even though we are in the season of love, like my husband said, I think that love is not enough.”

Enter Abati

However, Mr Abati insisted that their marriage was founded solely on a shared field of experiences.

He added that anyone trapped in an abusive relationship should make every effort to leave.

“There is hope for every woman and for every man because it cuts both ways. Now, madam (Morayo) is asking me how I imagine in my mind that I can catch her. I’m a struggling journalist. I always tell her. You know, we journalists. She is an entrepreneur. But our relationship is not based on material things. It’s not based on money. It’s based on a concept called a field of shared experience in the literature of mass communication.

“You meet someone, and you have this meeting of minds. And you just see that this is your person. And some women are not looking for money. Who are not going after a man because they think he has kept some money somewhere. You know, women who are attracted to a man because of his intellect. And because of his talent. And then on the other side, for a man… You meet a woman, and you just say, Ah, this one must not go. Too good to be true”, said Mr Abati.

School runs

He also revealed that he had known his wife from a very young age.

Speaking about raising their children, Mr Abati emphasised that the Ms Atanda-Owo children are his own, noting that he personally takes them to school every morning.

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“I knew her when she was a young girl: my friend, AIG Lakano. I would go to his house, and then there was this young girl there. And then all of a sudden, the young girl grew up. She had grown up and acquired degrees all over. And then she’s also a journalist. You know, in the course of work, we met and all of that. You know the Yoruba say this lady is good, and we must make her our wife.

“She is a very talented person. We have the same field of shared experience. So, one of the things I do, apart from dropping the children off at school, is do homework assignments. We then, you know, we wake up together. So, there is really no problem. The other children are older.”