I still have fresh memories of my first meeting with Professor Joy Ogwu in her Victoria Island office. The late Archbishop Gabriel Ganaka, then Archbishop of Jos, had stopped by the Catholic Secretariat after one of his many trips abroad.
The next morning, he handed a parcel to me to take to a certain Mrs. Joy Ogwu. She works at the National Institute for International Affairs. I have already told her that you will deliver this parcel to her. She is a good Catholic woman and she knows about you, he added for emphasis.
Next day, I headed to the NIIA and found her office. She was obviously expecting me as I saw from her warmth. Welcome, Fr, she said. I was struck by her elegance, beauty, charm and courtesy. I have read about you and I am so pleased to see you at last, she added as she offered me a seat.
I would soon become a constant visitor to the NIIA especially that Professor George Obiozor and I would later develop a great relationship. Although she insisted it was alright to just call her, Joy, I could not get my hands around that. So, she was always Dr. Joy Ogwu and only later became Professor Joy Ogwu to me. One day, she invited me to dinner at her home. I had dinner with her and her young son. She told me her husband was away to the United States.
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She occasionally would stop by for our noon Masses at the Catholic Secretariat where by this time, Fr George had joined the circle of friendship. I enjoyed attending the exciting conferences at the NIIA then especially as my friends began to grow there. One day, after one of those conferences, she insisted on my staying back so she could introduce me to her good friend. That is how I met the late Professor Margaret Vogt, a formidable intellectual and Catholic too. Both of them were intellectual giants and good friends. I had many friends around the NIIA such as; Mrs Uzo Ajukwu, Agatha, Ejide, Bayo Olukoshi among others. They were exciting times.
We maintained a great friendship because I truly lived in admiration of the two women who collaborated without any kind of rivalry. They both taught at the National War College. With my background in Peace Studies, we found intellectual convergence on the themes of Conflict, Disarmament and Peace in Africa and beyond.

Both of them ended up at the United Nations. Joy Ogwu went to become Nigeria’s Permanent Representative at the UN while Vogt worked directly with the UN system where her husband also worked. I kept in touch with both of them. If I called Joy first, she would inform Margaret and we would find a reason to catch up.
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On one occasion, I had told Joy Ogwu that I was coming to New York for a week. Then, on her own, she asked if my neck was still giving me trouble. Gosh, you still remember, I said to her. Yes, I do, she said. There is an Indian Acupuncturist whom I know. I will make an appointment for you to see him. He is really good. I had had a whiplash from an accident I had on my way to Ibadan back in 1994. I was in hospital for a week and many years later, I was often getting some pain on the back of my neck. I had recovered but often had some pain whenever I was exposed to any cold weather. Joy Ogwu had known about the accident.
I went over to her office at the Nigerian House. We had coffee and she then asked one of her aides to take me to a car that was waiting downstairs. I went down and there before me was a Limousine. What is this, I asked sheepishly. The driver immediately stepped out, opened the door of this embarrassing monster I had only seen cruising past.
Going to see a doctor in a Limousine? I had never entered one before. Joy Ogwu and I had not discussed the cost of the treatment. I called her immediately and asked the financial implications of the doctor seeing me in a Limousine? She laughed and said, just go, you are in good hands. I made sure that the doctor did not see the car, so I dropped off a few metres to his clinic.
The driver then said he would be back after one hour. I entered the facility and the doctor welcomed me warmly. After explaining my occasional pains to him, he got to work. He brought out a little tray with lots of pins on it. Gradually, he began to insert them to my ear lobes. They won’t hurt, he said even though I did not believe him. You will only feel a little pain if I hit the right spot! I feigned bravery and said ok. In a few minutes, I had more than ten pins stuck to both my ear lobes. After about an hour, he began to pick them out. I was told to go and come back the same time the next day. I repeated this a second session.
When I got back, I told Joy I had a problem. Aren’t you feeling better?, she asked. I told her calmly, I think I am feeling better but that is not the issue. I am getting worried. I am a priest of the Catholic Church. I have no plans to wear ear rings any time in my life. What if these pins leave holes in my ear lobes, how will I explain this? She and those around in her office all broke into laughter. Many years later, Joy Ogwu would ask if it was time for her to buy me ear rings yet.
I was in New York some years back and stopped over to visit one of our priests, Fr Vincent Bulus. He picked me at the airport and spoke excitedly about Professor Joy Ogwu. She never stops talking about you and I have already told her that you are coming, Fr Bulus said. The next morning, we drove to her place even though my visit was brief.
We got there and she was in a virtual conference with some retired Nigerian diplomats. She opened the door to us with a lot of excitement, but she gave us a sign of silence. She ushered us to a seat and continued her meeting. We will soon be done, she said. Then as they rounded off the meeting, she said to her colleagues on the screen: Bishop Kukah is here with me. I am sure you will like to greet him. I stepped up as I heard some visible excitement from the gentlemen. I leaned over and greeted some of the diplomats. Lunch later, we departed. We spoke on two or so occasions.
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Joy Ogwu was a great scholar, a devout Catholic of deep faith and moral roots. She worried about Nigeria. After serving at the highest level as our Foreign Minister and then Permanent Representative at the UN. She served her country well as a scholar-diplomat. Her intellectual roots were deep. She knew how the world worked. She also knew how it could be fixed. She knew where the tools could be found. There was always the forlorn feeling about the cognitive dissonance between the actors and the ruling political class who tended to be comfortable in shallow waters. Joy and I often talked and I know she didn’t feel fulfilled about where Nigeria was. She knew her country ought to be on a better seat at the international arena. She had a feeling that Nigeria was boxing below her weight.
Her appointment as the first female Director General of the NIIA marked an important feature yet she never lost her humility. As DG, I saw her in jeans, and with a broom, rallying her female staff to clean up the premises. I have no doubt that she has found eternal joy in heaven with her beloved husband.
Mathew Hassan Kukah is the catholic bishop of Sokoto Diocese in Nigeria
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