When honour paves the way, doors automatically swing open before you. Throughout my life, countless high-level doors have opened simply because I chose to honour the individuals occupying those positions of influence. For many people today, spiritual opposition is not the root cause of their ongoing stagnation; rather, it is their evident disregard for respecting and honouring others, whether young or old, rich or poor.
Years ago, while residing in Europe, I reached a point where I felt a strong desire to return home to Nigeria. At the time, I was feeling somewhat exhausted and disillusioned with life abroad. Prior to moving to Europe, I had been balancing active ministry work in South Africa with my professional career as an engineer. While in Europe, I pursued an MBA while concurrently serving in ministry with the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG). Yet, despite my active involvement in both spheres, a distinct sense of weariness set in. After seeking divine direction through prayer, I felt a clear spiritual redirection calling me back to my home country.
However, returning required a viable and sustainable source of income. I was in my thirties, still a young professional, and I knew I could not afford to return to Nigeria without a clear plan, only to spend months hunting for employment. That was when an ambitious idea struck me: Why not reach out directly to Mr Tony Elumelu, pitch my value proposition, and express my explicit interest in working for him?
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At that stage in my career, I had already earned an MBA, alongside two bachelors degrees, complemented by more than seven years of hands-on professional experience spanning banking, investment, and the mining sector. Furthermore, I had previously met Mr Elumelu in the year 2000, while he was serving as the Managing Director of Standard Trust Bank (STB). He had personally interviewed me in Lagos back then, though he did not extend a job offer to me at that time. Reflecting on this history, I strategised my approach and, through what felt like a miraculous turn of events, managed to secure his private email address.
Without hesitation, I drafted a comprehensive letter to Mr Elumelu, earnestly asking for an opportunity to transition back to Nigeria under his leadership. I made a conscious effort to saturate that letter with immense respect, reverence, and honour. To my absolute astonishment, in under 24 hours, I received a personal reply from him, inviting me to meet him at the iconic Dorchester Hotel in London. I was dazed; my strategy had worked.
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Upon my arrival at the Dorchester Hotel, he instructed me to come directly upstairs to his private suite. I could hardly believe this was happening. I practically sprinted up the escalators to reach his room on the third or fourth floor. When I knocked, he opened the door and casually walked back to sit on the edge of the bed. Inside the room, I met three of his top executive team members, two gentlemen and a lady, who had gathered to discuss critical business operations.
Mr Elumelu looked at me, smiled, and offered a few lighthearted remarks, admitting he was genuinely astonished by the sheer audacity it took for me to write directly to him. I humbly defended my strategy, further cementing my respect in his heart.
He then inquired about my depth of experience in the mining industry, followed by a concise discussion regarding my background in banking. To make a long story short, he hired me right there at the Dorchester as an expatriate staff member.
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I felt as though I was walking in the third heaven. He told one of his directors to give me some money. I was given £400. You don’t know what £400 was at that time. My monthly rent was £300. Overjoyed, I rushed downstairs, immediately called my wife to share the incredible news, and, as the saying goes, the rest is history. Although subsequent developments later led to a change of plans that required me to remain in Europe, that singular moment changed my perspective forever.
If you were to read the original letter I addressed to Mr Elumelu over two decades ago, you would be amazed by its posture. I honoured his leadership to the highest degree. I carefully aligned his remarkable global achievements and extraordinary banking success with my own professional competencies and international exposure, presenting the narrative in a manner that resonated deeply with him.
This experience holds profound life lessons for all of us. Today, I frequently observe young individuals displaying a form of boldness and audacity that is completely devoid of honour, seemingly oblivious to the immense professional and relational costs of such arrogance. Similarly, certain older individuals also make the grave mistake of withholding respect from others. Social media has become the graveyard of honour for this generation.
In the African context specifically, have you ever wondered why many individuals hesitate to disclose their true ages during birthday celebrations? It stems from a societal tendency to measure respect strictly through the narrow lenses of age, race, financial status, and corporate position.
If you were to read the original letter I addressed to Mr Elumelu over two decades ago, you would be amazed by its posture. I honoured his leadership to the highest degree. I carefully aligned his remarkable global achievements and extraordinary banking success with my own professional competencies and international exposure, presenting the narrative in a manner that resonated deeply with him. Ultimately, it was not merely my technical credentials or my résumé that opened that prestigious door, it was the principle of honour. Honour possesses the extraordinary ability to accomplish for you in a single day what your skills, knowledge, and hard-fought qualifications might struggle to achieve over twenty years.
On numerous occasions, relative strangers have boldly sent direct messages to my inbox, addressing me casually by my first name. I usually laugh and refrain from responding altogether. As a standard of propriety, one should not address unfamiliar individuals by their first names without prior rapport. Even when an acquaintance exists, professional and social titles serve as vital symbols of respect.
Utilising titles such as Madam, Mister, Mrs, Doctor, or Pastor acknowledges an individual’s sacrifices, societal contributions, personal labour, and long-standing commitments. The privilege of using a person’s first name ought to be reserved strictly for contexts involving mutual consent and established familiarity.
Contrary to popular belief, modern Western culture does not negate this fundamental principle. Having lived and worked in both Europe and North America for several decades, I can confidently state that while first-name familiarity is integrated into certain corporate environments, it is by no means universal across all societal domains. In Western societies, professionals regularly address physicians by their professional designations, just as they do with public officials, referring to them formally as Senator James, President Smith, or Governor Andrew.
Imagine if I had initiated my letter to a corporate titan like Mr Elumelu by writing, “Hi Tony, how are you doing?” That letter would have been discarded immediately. It is essential for the younger generation to move past casual, dismissive tendencies, recognise the boundaries of proper conduct, and rebuild their personal values upon the solid pillars of honour.
To this day, I make it a priority to honour a vast network of people, including friends, ministers, spiritual fathers, and missionaries, by quietly supporting their ministries, standing faithfully by them during moments of crisis, and never exploiting their personal vulnerabilities or moments of weakness against them. Consequently, whenever I reach out to them for guidance or assistance, they respond with overwhelming generosity.
For me personally, the prerogative to address me solely by my first name belongs exclusively to my biological parents, my wife, a select group of childhood friends, and my spiritual parents, and even among them, many still choose to speak with elevated respect.
Furthermore, when interacting with married women, addressing them as Madam reflects proper etiquette. In traditional African culture, it is common practice to show deference to married women by identifying them through their children’s names, such as Mama John or Mama Kunle.
The Enduring Impact of Walking in Honour
A highly revered senior spiritual father in the Nigerian church once asked me to stop addressing him as “Daddy.” Out of deep respect for his stature, I respectfully declined his request. When he pressed the issue further, I still could not bring myself to abandon that posture of deference. To maintain harmony without compromising my values, I adopted a balanced approach in my correspondence, structuring my letters and messages with: “Dear Sir” or “Hello Sir,” proceeding with the core message, and consistently concluding with: “Sir, please convey my warmest regards to Mummy.”
Despite his initial preference, he could not prevent me from extending profound honour to his beloved wife of over forty years by calling her “Mummy.” They ultimately opened their hearts and their home to my family and I. That is the undeniable power of intentional honour.
To this day, I make it a priority to honour a vast network of people, including friends, ministers, spiritual fathers, and missionaries, by quietly supporting their ministries, standing faithfully by them during moments of crisis, and never exploiting their personal vulnerabilities or moments of weakness against them. Consequently, whenever I reach out to them for guidance or assistance, they respond with overwhelming generosity.
For instance, when I recently required the direct contact information of a prominent worship leader in Nigeria, I approached this same spiritual father. Within 24 hours, he personally facilitated the introduction and provided me with the private mobile number I needed.
That is precisely what honour achieves. When honour paves the way, doors automatically swing open before you. Throughout my life, countless high-level doors have opened simply because I chose to honour the individuals occupying those positions of influence. For many people today, spiritual opposition is not the root cause of their ongoing stagnation; rather, it is their evident disregard for respecting and honouring others, whether young or old, rich or poor. When you walk in genuine honour, your path in life becomes remarkably smooth.
Ayo Akerele is the senior pastor of Rhema Assembly and the founder of the Voice of the Watchmen Ministries in Ontario, Canada. He can be reached through [email protected]. You can connect with him on: YouTube: @VoiceoftheWatchmen, TikTok: @drayoakerele, Instagram: @drayoakerele, Facebook: @Ayo Akerele
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