As the saying goes, “Courage is the one choice if you want to live your best life. It is the choice we make when we decide that fear is not strong enough to hold us back.” A courageous weakling will defeat a brawny but fearful warrior. In courage the brave finds dominance.
Resting in history are female heroes whose imprint lives even when they are no more; there have always been women raised to challenge status quo, effect value-based reforms, retain progressive norms and keep the wheels of life rolling, yet they are humble and defenders of their convictions; from Abigail [the intelligent wise and beautiful woman whose discretional act right the wrong of her spouse that could have spelt doom to all the males in their city] to Esther [the beauty queen whose dogged determination rescued her people from utter destruction]; Mary Slessor [the Scottish Presbyterian missionary to Nigeria who saw to the stop of infanticide] to Mother Theresa [considered one of the greatest 20th century humanitarians]; Rosa Park [who refused to give up her seat to a white skinned man on a Montgomery, Alabama city bus in 1955 and helped institute the civil rights movement in the United States] to Folorunso Alakija [A woman in a male dominated oil industry with Net Worth of about $1.5 Billion USD].
The courageous woman stands with her convictions, make efforts to preserve values, and a true friend to the relationship she most treasure, no matter the circumstances; the courageous woman can also work against her personal convictions when it supports what threatens divine institutions and values. Marriage is a divine institution; before any culture, tradition, religion and ethnicity was marriage; it was from the Institute of Marriage every other institute emerged, including contemporary, traditional, religious and ethnic governments. While it is clear that the institution of marriage is under attack by proponents of “a world with a new order,” courageous women have stood strong in defense of their marriage; this I saw in Hillary Clinton, former Senator, Secretary of States and Presidential Candidate in the United States.
While I can never be in support of any form of sexual harassment by men in power and out of power, I saw how a courageous woman, fought in defense of her husband; not much about what happened or what did not, but more of the sanity, sanctity and preservation of her home. In the famous sexual harassment and assault allegation on her husband, former President Bill Clinton, brought by Monica Lewinsky, a former white house intern, she was later asked in a Sunday CBS interview if she thought her husband should have resigned after his affair with Lewinsky, she responded:
The relationship wasn’t an abuse of power on the former president’s part. Lewinsky was “an adult,” she said. This of course, sparked a lot of criticism, but it makes no sense to a courageous woman who values her home and the continuous existence of her marriage rather than subscribe to the fowl cries of mischief makers. This is not to support inappropriate behaviours, but if you are a true friend and partner, you will always stand by your friend and partner in times of turbulence.
“Heroes are never perfect, but they’re brave, they’re authentic, they’re courageous, determined, discreet, and they’ve got grit.” – Wade Davis
A similar situation that made rounds in the social media and major traditional media outlets was that of the Clergy man, Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo – Senior Pastor, Common Wealth of Zion Assembly (COZA); Busola Dakolo, the wife of a popular Nigerian Artist, Timi Dakolo blew up a lid of allegation that the Senior Pastor raped her Twenty years ago; in her claim, she was a minor at the time. Although, there were lots of discrepancies in her timelines that made the claims looked suspicious, whatever the case, here is a well-orchestrated allegation that threatens an entire structure.
With a courageous woman’s stand, an accused man gets energized to face his accusers; rape is not an easy allegation, but we saw in a woman a deep understanding of what it means to stand with her man. Like Hillary Clinton, Modele Fatoyinbo, wife of Mr. Biodun Fatoyinbo stood still in spite of all the aspersions cast; an orchestrated attempt to ruin a family and water down a visionary ministry that is fully in touch with the older generation and millennials, with timeless truth.
Some things are easier said than experienced; as a woman and an onlooker, I tried putting myself in the stead of Mrs. Fatoyinbo, not an easy journey it could have been for her. I am amazed at her unwavering support for her husband and resoluteness to stand in spite of social media fuzz. She has proven to womanhood that there are more to the allegations people throw at your husband, most especially when he is high up there. In my opinion, her name will be impressed in gold plaque and generations to come will honour her. When your husband is accused of infidelity, worse of, rape – what do you do? Every woman should note that when such things happens, your spouse is not just the target, you and your children are.
Mrs. Fatoyinbo belongs to the rarest breed of women who believes and stands for family values; she is simply a Profile in Courageous Womanhood.
As a woman, if you will not be courageous enough to face the realities of life, and focus on your work rather than give in to unnecessary distractions from those who envy your home, you may not achieve much in life. Be courageous enough to stick through the thicks and thins with your spouse. Never forget, “Courage is the one choice if you want to live your best life.”