Servant of God, protecting yourself from sexual scandal is a choice, By Ayo Akerele

Integrity is a defence. Yes, it is possible for people to cook up lies against a genuine man of God. But when 1, 2, 3, 4…7, 8, 9 10… women in different countries or locations who don’t know each other are saying the same thing, you definitely have a problem. That they are picking on you, even if you are innocent still damages the name of Christ. There is a way you conduct your life with transparency, truth and integrity that it will be a major headache for a strange woman to lie against you.

There is a way you conduct your life as a servant of God that even when a Jezebel plans to lie against you, it would be a struggle for her to achieve. About 21 years ago, I had a very interesting experience. A lady invited me to her birthday party. I turned it down. She insisted that I must attend, at least to honour her. Still, I stood firm that I wasn’t going to attend it. Why? I don’t attend ladies’ parties alone. That is what I am saying. I am not saying that it is wrong to attend parties. But my own principle is that, for my own safety, someone must go with me. That time, no one was available to accompany me. It was years later that I learnt from Dr Billy Graham and Reinhard Bonnke that they would never attend meetings with anyone alone. Either their wives or their assistants must be there. Dr Billy Graham called it, “the two-people rule”. Thankfully, both servants of God ended up on the note of integrity. They had no scandals.

And that was how God saved me from trouble. But when she nearly ‘killed me’ with pressure, I told her that I would be thinking about it, just to diffuse the pressure. Remember Joseph? Destroyers don’t give up easily, particularly when you are a glory carrier. Potiphar’s wife nearly killed Joseph with pressure. That’s one of the strategies of Jezebels. That was also what Delilah used against Samson. She wore out Samson with her words until a great man was reduced to rubbles.

I have had dozens of such experiences, and time and again, the grace of God, plus my personal integrity, bailed me out. I will not visit any woman alone, even if she is dying. So, it has really been difficult for anyone to cook up a story against me. No one can’t back it up with evidence.

Anyway, this lady took my words for a consent, but on the day of the birthday party, I didn’t go. Of course, I knew I was not going to go. A few days later, the lady stormed my office, yelled at me, “I know you are very stubborn. There was no birthday. I just planned this meeting to get you”. I could not believe my ears. The man you are reading from today would have been killed a long time ago on the laps of Delilah. This particular lady was qualified to have been a beauty queen, considering how beautiful she was. There was no way I could have survived the temptation. I have had dozens of such experiences, and time and again, the grace of God, plus my personal integrity, bailed me out. I will not visit any woman alone, even if she is dying. So, it has really been difficult for anyone to cook up a story against me. No one can’t back it up with evidence.

Also, my social media handles are managed by different people. They all have my passwords. They read my chats and conversations. So, I won’t be caught saying stupid things to women. I put those measures in place to make me accountable. Also, my phones are not pass-worded. My wife has unlimited access to my phones. It’s not just about praying and fasting when you are taking foolish risks, pretending to be an angel. Also, I don’t ever watch bad movies. I won’t sit down to a movie where people are kissing, much less touching each other; never! Integrity is a choice. You have to be intentional about it. I know that I can fall. So, I don’t pretend and then begin to do stupid things. And, I don’t pretend to be strong when I am weak. I expose my vulnerability to my wife. A lot of men hide their weaknesses, just to appear to be strong.

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Thinking you can’t fall has already positioned you for a fall. You must pursue an hybrid strategy – prayer and wisdom. Don’t expose yourself. It has taken God about forty years to build me up, and give me the level of fire I presently carry. One casual sex can quench forty years of fire. I won’t allow that to happen!

Someone who was very close to my wife was becoming too attractive to me. I told me wife, plainly, “I am getting attracted to your friend, please put some distance between us”. She laughed and laughed, and that was it, “she moved away from the lady”. Yes, I am praying. But, prayers don’t kill sexual urges. Thinking you can’t fall has already positioned you for a fall. You must pursue an hybrid strategy – prayer and wisdom. Don’t expose yourself. It has taken God about forty years to build me up, and give me the level of fire I presently carry. One casual sex can quench forty years of fire. I won’t allow that to happen!

Integrity is a defence. Yes, it is possible for people to cook up lies against a genuine man of God. But when 1, 2, 3, 4…7, 8, 9 10… women in different countries or locations who don’t know each other are saying the same thing, you definitely have a problem. That they are picking on you, even if you are innocent still damages the name of Christ. There is a way you conduct your life with transparency, truth and integrity that it will be a major headache for a strange woman to lie against you.

Ayo Akerele, a leadership and system development strategist, and minister of the word, writes from Canada and can be reached through ayoakerele2012@gmail.com.