I have never been an avid watcher of Big Brother Africa, until this year. I decided to watch it this year as I wanted to understand what BBA addicts I have known gain from watching the show.

In the past, my friends would lament the contestants that represent Nigeria for their boringness- well, except for Uti who was so “interesting” that it led to his eviction in his first attempt at the big money prize. By his second attempt, he had learnt to grin and bear it. Even the flamboyant Goldie became a point of lament when she fell brains over heels in love with Prezzo.

Finally, with Melvin, it seems like Nigeria has found the contestant that they can love except that apart from that one time when as head of house he failed to swap himself from the nominee list, Melvin is as boring and as inarticulate as they come. I mean, do something hair-raising other than squint and lick your lips all day. Okay, and sometimes show off your eight packs. Seriously, who has eight packs?!

On the other hand, I would rather watch a show titled Beverly Osu Acting Her Age. Beverly is the other Nigerian contestant and at 21, the youngest in the house. (Fun fact: Nigeria is currently the only country with both contestants still in the house.)

Beverly is known for her fabulous stories especially about her promiscuity. So far, she has had an abortion, been raped, slept with men for money, dated musicians- I think the only thing she is yet to cop to is a lesbian relationship. Also, she drinks a lot at the Saturday parties. Drunk Beverly equals to gloriously entertaining Beverly!

She smokes cigarette like we see drug addicts on TV smoke marijuana. She is almost always skimpily dressed.

She has a massive unrequited crush on Bimp (the contestant from Ethiopia) which leads her to do stupid things atimes like throw herself at him, give him “breast” dances in the pool or proclaim her love “jokingly.” All these even though she’s currently dating Angelo from South Africa.

Oh, did I forget to mention that she has also had relations of a sexual manner with said Angelo- on live TV, in the full view of Africa!

As would be expected, “Nigeria” is definitely not happy with Beverly. She has been called everything from a prostitute to a whore (even though they mean the same thing more or less). Some have declared that she has punched a big hole in her bride price. Most just want her head on a platter and have done with it.

You see, it becomes interesting when contestants from other countries have sex on TV because you know everybody else in Africa is promiscuous except for Nigerians. No, we don’t have sex on BBA, we are not like that, we are decent people.

Or as my friend would say: Nigerians know now. If you try show yourself for Big Brother, dem go finish you for Naija.

Erm, maybe Beverly is not Nigerian then as in, she is not a hypocrite. She is a passionate young woman who would not let herself be held back by some people’s fuddy-duddy expectations. Be advised that her mother watches the show and Beverly is aware of this. If she does not give a damn about what her mother thinks, your bitchy thoughts are definitely in the “for your pocket” bin of her mind.

It’s not like if she wins the money she would share it with you doing all the condemning from your couch, or you in front of your computer. You are not her mother, you didn’t even pay her flight ticket to South Africa.

Other African countries seem to like her- again, judging by the comment boards- and her romantic relationship with Angelo.

“You two are so cute together,” IK, the BBA host told them last week echoing the thoughts of many.

But unfortunately, Nigerians seem to have a large say when it comes to votes on the show- which, according to Pokello, the female contestant from Zimbabwe, is the reason housemates don’t often nominate the Nigerian contestants; they are scared of getting voted out by Nigerian viewers. Personally, while I think the idea of a Nigerian autonomy on BBA is rubbish, I sort of have this feeling that if ever Beverly ever comes up for eviction, she would be overwhelmingly voted out by her own people who have dubbed her “a disgrace.”

How dare she have sex in the BBA house? How dare she act on her natural instincts? Nigerians don’t do that. We don’t disgrace ourselves in public by having public sex. We are hypocrites who choose to do all our sexing in private and all our condemning in public. We have never seen private parts, don’t know where babies come from and are generally unaware of the act that brings them into the world. We are superior to other African countries so we look down on them or mock them for their stupidity in the house but not us; our contestants are always decent.

And here is where I have a hearty belly laugh! Once again, the whole premise of BBA is to have adults be their worst selves for our entertainment. And if you watch it enough to have a rabid opinion about its contestants, just be aware of this- there are some who think you are not so hot yourself in the brains department; so relax, it’s just a show. And if you tell me (your) kids watch it, I would request that social services visit your home and that you get your brain checked.

Simply put, if you suddenly find dissatisfaction with your current form of entertainment, switch to something else; don’t kill the entertainer.