Dear President Obama, Goodluck Jonathan Must be Invited to Washington! By Pius Adesanmi

Pius Adesanmi

Dear President Barack Obama,

Greetings. On behalf of the good citizens of the District of Columbia, who, in their infinite wisdom, entrusted me with the Office of the Mayor, I am writing to draw your attention to an issue of urgent municipal importance. Although my aides here in the Mayor’s Office are yet to crosscheck things with Mr. Jay Carney, your Press Secretary, after he issued a curious statement today, I have decided to be proactive by reacting to that extremely disturbing statement.

Mr. President, it would seem that you have convened a prestigious summit between your esteemed self and four Heads of State from the continent of Africa. They have been invited to parley with you in the White House in order to explore avenues of strengthening democracy in Africa. According to the statement released by Mr. Carney, “President Obama looks forward to welcoming President Ernest Bai Koroma of Sierra Leone, President Macky Sall of Senegal, President Joyce Banda of Malawi, and Prime Minister José Maria Pereira Neves of Cape Verde to the White House on Thursday, March 28.” The statement concludes that, “the visit of these four leaders underscores the strategic importance the President places on building partnerships and substantive engagement with sub-Saharan Africa, and our commitment to working with strong and emerging African democracies.”

Mr. President, this is obviously an unmistakable snub of the Nigerian President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan, who leads a country that prides herself as the giant of Africa. While we understand the fact that your administration needs to send a clear message of zero tolerance for corruption to the Nigerian President, who has acquired a reputation for running Africa’s most corruption-friendly government, we at the Washington City Hall would like to register our disagreement with your decision to exclude the Nigerians from next week’s parley in the strongest possible terms.

Mr. President, we believe that you have not been properly served by your advisers in this matter. We believe that the economic implications of excluding the Nigerians from this parley should have been painstakingly explained to you to help you reach an informed judgment. We believe that the economic wellbeing of a major American city should be more important to your administration than helping the people of one far-flung country in Africa deal with their corruption enabler of a president. At a time when most American city administrations are groaning under budget cuts, at a time when the ability of American cities to deliver basic services to residents is being streamlined to reflect the dire economic circumstances of the times, any opportunity for a massive injection of funds into any American city’s economy ought to be seized with both hands. Your administration is about to deny Washington DC one such fantastic opportunity through the hasty and wrong-headed exclusion of the Nigerian president from the forthcoming parley.

Mr. President, we believe that you are aware of the fact that the President of Nigeria does not travel light to foreign destinations. During meetings of the US Conference of Mayors, my brother Mayor Bloomberg of New York never fails to regale us with stories of the economic boom that New York City receives whenever the Nigerian president comes to town for UN functions. He and his wife are said to travel with a harem of presidential jets – some travel as advance delegations. The plane loads of raw cash and aides create an economic ripple effect. They stay in the best hotels, charter limousines, and spend days in shopping malls since they hardly ever attend the functions they came for.

Mr. President, you are perhaps aware of the fact that the 127th Assembly of the Inter-Parliamentary Union was hosted by our sister city, Québec City, Canada, from October 21-26, 2012. The word on the street is that the South Africans who arrived in Québec City thinking they had a huge delegation were humbled by the benumbing size of the Nigerian delegation. Almost five months after the event, I can tell you authoritatively, Mr. President, that Québec City, Canada, is still reaping the benefits of the economic boom created by the one-week presence of Nigerian parliamentarians in that city. Need one mention what the city of Dubai in the Middle East benefits from weekly injection of funds by Nigerian officials?

Mr. President, we urge you to seriously reconsider your decision to snub Dr. Goodluck Jonathan. It would be a great idea of you could even invite him ahead of the others so that he and his potentially large delegation could get to spend an extra week here in Washington. If he comes here with two or three jumbo jets, as is his wont, this translates to enormous parking fees for Washington Dulles Airport. He, his wife, and their aides are going to take over major hotels in the city and that would be a tremendous boost for our hospitality services. Our limo rental services are going to benefit immensely from the presence of a Nigerian delegation.

In addition, while Dr and Mrs. Jonathan spend time with you at the White House, two or three planeloads of aides are going to spend all that time in our shopping malls. Furthermore, virtually every member of the large delegation would take the opportunity to do a quick medical checkup. Since they have no medical insurance here, they would naturally be paying cash. Imagine, Mr. President, the possible cash inflow to our medical system in these austere times. We understand that Nigerian officials are fond of German hospitals. This could be an opportunity to showcase the superiority of American medical services to these petro-wealthy Africans.

Mr. President, I could go on and on with details of the economic benefits of having the Nigerians here. Please allow me to say, Mr. President, that for the sake of the economy of Washington, DC, the Nigerian president deserves to be pardoned for pardoning corruption. He is of more economic value to us here than the four African presidents you are hosting combined. I therefore look forward to being able to host him and his lovely wife here at City Hall after their White House event.

Yours sincerely,

John-Smith Budweiser

Mayor of the District of Columbia


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  • Lanre Ake

    I dey laugh ooooooooooooooooo. SMH

  • ade

    What is your own problem? If you care about Nigeria, why are you outside? I beg, leave this man alone. It seems you want fame, then come home and let us see what you can do. Kilode gan-an?

    • ademefun

      “ki lode gan an” means in English “What happens exactly?” I have translated this for all readers so that we understand what ade alias President Jonathan’s apologist spokesperson has just said. So this is my answer: What has happened is that Nigeria is being isolated in the world because of President Jonathan’s serial immorality and unethical behavior. Remember all of you -President Jonathan’s apologists thought Bill Gates would give you the real reason for cancelling his visit to Nigeria? In international diplomacy it is sufficient for the visit to be canceled to show your displeasure. You are not obliged to give a reason. You may even say you have belly ache that is why you cannot come !!! The important thing in International diplomacy is body language. This is another one baby ade. Tell Oga in Aso Rock that his time is up. We Nigerians can no longer afford his further stay in Aso Rock. he needs to go. He should stop embarrassing us.

      • Samuel Agwuna

        Isolated cos FOUR of out more than SIXTY african heads of state were invited for a parly? Where is Zuma, Mahamma, Morsi, etc? Obama picked countries that he think will serve his interest, “O Yes” countries. What benefit will GEJ attending the parly at the white house on Democratic principle accrue to ordinary Nigerian? Nothing.

        • ademefun

          These are my answers. First, which part of Africa are the following countries in-Sierra Leone, Senegal, Cape verde, malawi? The last time I checked my MAP of Africa, the first three are in west Africa. It is possible our corruption may blind us from seeing this. Corruption dey corrupt geography too. Second, the last time President Obama came to Africa, did he come to Nigeria? Where did he GO? he went to Ghana!!!! Ghana’s population is about that of a bunch of three or four Nigerian states. And the fable is that for every four or so African one is a Nigerian. But President Obama went to “little Ghana”. All President Jonathan apologists shouted “oh why couldnt Obama come to Nigeria , it is an insult yeah yeah ? etc etc. I just dey laf! Who go come country where the KING OF CORRUPTION IN THE WORLD is President Jonathan of the Federal republic of Nigeria. The problem with all President Jonathan’s apologists is that you do not know that the world is actually a small village. There is NONE OF THE MONEY STOLEN IN ABUJA THAT CANNOT BE MONITORED ELECTRONICALLY. And when you launder money, the source is SENSED ELECTRONICALLY INTERNATIONALLY AND IT IS PICKED AND DOCUMENTED IMMEDIATELY. I am making this smal diversion DELIBERATELY. Why this small diversion? The relevance is that there is no theft going on in Abuja that cannot be monitored INTERNATIONALLY, and it is actually being monitored. So when President Jonathan became so desperate as to pardon a criminal in Alamieyeseigha,, he shot himself completely in the leg. To further let you into my “body language” I hope you know that Mary land is near Washington DC. And remember the case of those two thieving senators who woke up to claim that they own the property in Maryland which Alamieyeseigha used laundered money to buy? The case is in court in Maryland , USA. Let me just tell you, the American court system is transparent and has zero tolerance for stolen goods. I doubt if Alamieyeseigha will get that property back thru the fraudulent means he wants to use. The relevance of this is that geographically the state of Maryland is just a stone throw from washington DC!!! So nothing is hidden!!! To come back to your question: my answer is in a question: In other words again, I WILL DELIBERATELY USE A QUESTION TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION: what will President Jonathan and Nigeria benefit if President Obama visited Nigerian instead of Ghana the last time? And why did President Jonathan’s apologists and innocent Nigerians cry that Obama did not visit Nigeria? What will President Jonathan and Nigerian benefit if Bill gates did not cancel his visit? And finally THIS IS IN YOUR FACE SINCE YOU PRETEND NOT TO UNDERSTAND: SO what does Mrs Jonathan benefit by visiting western hospitals AND NOT NIGERIAN HOSPITALS? What does the second one -Mrs Diezani Alison-Madueke benefit by visiting British hospitals and NOT NIGERIAN HOSPITALS. Think my broda? Walsl get ear because WALLS are perforated!!!

          • Mpitikwelu_na_Ugwu_Awusa

            You are a joke. It is only in Nigeria that inferiority complexed Negroes get over excited over irrelevancies. Please stop behaving like little kids. Who are the innocent Nigerians that cried because Obama didn’t visit? Please grow up. African man emancipate your soul. The west is not your father, that rewards your good behaviour with biscuits. They have economic interests in dealing with Africa. GROW UP. If you don’t like Jonathan, vote him out in 2015. Stop disgracing my colour.

          • ademefun

            but Mrs Diezani Alison-Madueke and Mrs Jonathan spend our money on their health in London an Germany. And the children of our ministers are NOT schooling in Nigeria. mpitikwelu , please answer to this first. Also, the last time you all apologists of President Jonathan bellyached and thought President Obama should have visited Nigeria and not Ghana. baby answer to this post and add it to the number you will collect money for. Sorry I forgot this-let those ministers return their American GREEN CARDS and the GREEN CARDS of their children!!!

          • Adamolekun

            mpitikwelu I read your posts here. I am starting to believe like some people have argued that you collect money for these posts from President Jonathan. Also, I am happy that young African patriotic writers have woken you up to stop thinking like a villager. They have given you some concepts to use. That will improve the way Oga-President Jonathan conduct business. That concept is the CONCEPT OF INFERIORITY COMPLEX. Now permit me to list the cases of inferiority complex under President Jonathan as facilitated by you his apologists.
            1. The then Governor Jonathan now president Jonathan gave Bayelsa tax payers money to Nduka Obaigbena-another of President Jonathan’s media men- to import foreign prostitutes. Many Nigerians were unfortunately made to take so-called photo-op with the main prostitute. The prostitute is an American. You know her. You know what I am talking about. To REALLY SHOW THE THEN GOVERNOR JONATHAN THAT IT WAS MONEY WELL SPENT THEY PUT BAYELSA NAME BEHIND THE PROSTITUTE. As a Nigerian I felt ashame. What do you call that? Patriotism or INFERIORITY COMPLEX? You can even bring respectable people to use for publicity. You brought a prostitute. Haba!

            2. When Alamieyeseigha stole the billions he stole, he went to Maryland to buy choice properties. I am sure that is patriotism!!! Soory Maryland is a state in the US and not Maryland LAGOS. So I am NOT talking about Lagos Maryland, I am talking about the state in US. He laundered Bayelsa state money and used it to buy houses in OYIBO LAND. That is INFERIORITY COMPLEX. Me sef get house for nu york, marrry land, looodon. !!!

            3. Please ask Mrs Diezani Alison Madueke TO DISCLOSE THE HOUSES SHE AND HER FAMILY THRU PROXIES HAVE IN THE US. WE HAVE SOME NUMBERS. SHE CAN DECEIVE HERSELF AND USE PROXIES BUT WE KNOW. These houses are in FOREIGN LAND. IT MEANS THIS IS IS NOT PATRIOTISM COMPLEX BUT INFERIORITY COMPLEX. And Mrs. Diezani Alsion- Madueke does business on behalf of President Jonathan. We have our facts. You now understand why this administration-Jonathan’s- will FIGHT DIRTY FOR FOUR MORE YEARS in order to perfect their acts before they leave?

            4. Some of you are President Jonathan’s media men abroad. You collected Nigerian money, kept some and paid to a fake publicist to arrange for a CNN interview for President Jonathan. two issues are relevant here. First CNN IS NOT AN AFRICAN OUTFIT. YOU WERE SO DESPERATE TO SPEAK WITH OYIBO MEDIUM, YOU COLLECTED MONEY CORRUPTLY AND GAVE IT OUT CORRUPTLY JUST TO SPEAK WITH OYIBO. What do you call that ? MY BRODA NA INFERIORITY COMPLEX. Second issue is that CNN came to disown you, it said you it did not collect money from you. Again corruption-you collected money so that Oga will speak with Oyibo and you will flash it.
            5. Mrs Diezani Alison Madueke spent her time in a British hospital. Mrs Diezani Alison Madueke is President Jonathan’s second eye. The president even commended her once. he said she is doing a great job! She spent her time in a British hospital for “health” reasons-Britain is a foreign country. What is that? Inferiority complex.
            6. The first eye-Mrs Jonathan. For “health” reasons, Mrs Jonathan goes to Germany for “health” reasons. Actually the last time both women were out Dame and Diezani-they travelled within the same week-Dame to Germany for “health” reason Diezani to Britain for “health” reason See? What do yo call this? Inferiority complex.
            mpitikwelu-na_afam_na deri_ please think before you dispute these facts systematically.
            Thank you.

          • Mpitikwelu_na_Ugwu_Awusa

            please think naa. It is not a difficult thing to apply your brain. Re-read your posts and see if you deserve a response.

          • Adamolekun

            In response to your response to ademefun I drew you out. I gave you a list of cases where you, Presdent Jonathan paid apologists, his wife, his minsters, his paid medai men all suffer from Inferiority complex. So you accept that you and Oga President Jonathan, and his apologists suffer from inferiority complex. I concur. Thanks so much mpitkwelu_na_Ugwu_Awusa. Case closed then after your acceptance of the illness called inferiority complex. Please take this to Oga since time is running.

          • ademefun

            So using Bayelsa state money to bring prostitute to Nigeria in the name of publicising Bayelsa state is a norm!!!! It does not show inferiority complex? haba !!! So you accept that as a norm. Dis black people na wa for you. Na wa oooo mpitiptipiti!

          • James

            Okay Baby Mpitikwelu-inferiority complex negro-but Madam Jonathan dey go Germany for health, the other Madam, Madam Diezani Alison Madueke also dey go London for health. My question is if Madams Dame and Diezani go to Germany and Britain for health, when last did you hear that the wives of the German Chancellor or the husband of the German Chancellor or the wife of the British Prime Minister came to Nigeria for health? Who is displaying inferiority complex? Na Oga Family dey display inferiorit complex my broda-this is is why we are where we are today-in the PIT! And we need to get out of it.

        • Mpitikwelu_na_Ugwu_Awusa

          they don’t have any brain. Elrufai is thinking for them.

  • May W

    Ignorance galore! This is the problem with the whole government critic vocation which is just a collection of desperate, dishonest people who look up to disgraced public officials like El-Rufai for inspiration.

    Dear Pius, since your olodo head does not know that President Obama meets with 4 African leaders every year and met with President Jonathan and 3 others last year and he is not repeating the group as he wants to meet with diverse leaders.

    Just a bloody block head and all his govt criticism articles all point to the need for Pius to get educated. I don’t blame you, I blame IBB who systematically destroyed the educational system in this country. Now, we have a horde of unthinking cowards roaming the opinion space.

    SHAME! CAPITAL SHAME!

    • Akinonthelam

      Oh yes I blame IBB for destroying NIgerian education too because you otherwise probably would have been able to differentiate between criticism and satire. Or does the failure in judgement come with the territory?

  • Mpitikwelu_na_Ugwu_Awusa

    This is disgusting. WHERE IS SOUTH AFRICA AND GHANA in the list? Did they also grant pardon to Alams? People use your head. This is wicked propaganda.Pius is spreading falsehood with his twisted imagination.

  • Boo Boo NahBulah

    Is this satire surely? A hilarious and deliberately ironic fake letter. Or am I confused. Who wrote this letter. certainly not the mayor of the District of Columbia. It is a joke folks to highlight the appalling duplicity of the US regime and the reeking, poisonous corruption of the Nigerian government. How can you be taken seriously when you use this kind of school boy tactic. WHO is John-Smith Budweiser? (John Smith is a british beer and Budweiser is an American beer) This is a good brew to provoke thought.