PREMIUM TIMES Nigeria’s leading investigative newspaper, PREMIUM TIMES, is facilitating another round of dialogue session on Parenting for Nation Building.
The programme is aimed at emphasising the role of families in nation building.
The event is holding today (Saturday) at the Auditorium of the Central Bank Training Institute Shehu Shagari Way, Maitama, Abuja.
A similar event was held in June at the Secretariat of the Institute of Directors (IoD) in Lagos.
Notable speakers expected at today’s event are the first ladies of Kaduna State, Hadiza El Rufai, and Kebbi State, Zainab Shinkafi Bagudu.
The event will be declared open by Sunday Dogonyaro, at 10:00am prompt.
Other confirmed speakers to the event are Binta Max-Gbinijie, Chief Executive Officer Stanbic IBTC Trustees; and Sonye Allanah, DGM Government Relations/Corporate Communications Total Plc
Topics to be discussed straddle the broad stretch of Work-life Balance Imperatives for Parenting; Money, Values and Children; Parenting by Example and Critical Life Values as well as the Nutritional Culture of Families and their interface with nation building.
Follow our liveblog of the event below.
10.44 am: Arrival of guests at the event.
10.46 am: Singing the National Anthem as event commences
11.17 am Mr. Dogonyaro talks about values that drive a person to take certain actions.
“When I look at our nation today, the foundational values have been lost. The evidence is palpable, all that is happening speak volumes,” he says. “Foundational values are issues we have to deal with. Foundational values are picked up in our formative years and as adults they play out.”
11.37 am: Binta Gbinije talking on Children Money and Value
12.05 pm: Guest asking questions
12.05 pm: Her excellency, Hajiya Hadiza (L) Kaduna State First Lady
12.18 pm Mr. Dogonyaro makes further clarification on how to understand our collective nature, despite our differences.
A participant, identified as Austin, a university lecturer, says most of the world’s problems relating to parenting arise because people don’t really know what is wrong.
Mr. Dogonyaro makes a few clarifications. He adds that the problems in the society start first in the family,and in schools.
He also says government has also contributed to the problem.
12.19 pm Enang talks briefly about addressing real life issues with our children.
PREMIUM TIMES’ Ifeyinwa Uzoka introduces the speaker for Money, Values and Children, Binta Max-Gbinije.
12.21 pm Mrs. Gbinije says, “It’s key that children and teenagers know how important it is to spend wisely”.
“Openness is a key point,” she says, “Money is usually a sore point for a lot of families. Mentor and coach them about money.”
She says many parents wrongly believe in giving everything their children want because they didn’t have “cool things” when they were younger.
“When the children cannot find same cool things, they engage in unpleasant things just to belong,” she warns.
“As a parent, learn to restrict giving too much, teach them to work hard for their own money.
“Teach your children to be generous, it will come back to them.
“Teach them to save so they can have a healthy financial future. Help them outline a budget to determine what comes in, what they spend money on and what they can save.”
“Encourage them to set proper financial goals. Use popular faces to motivate them.”
“Reward their efforts, it doesn’t have to be money, instead, invest for them, set up a trust fund for them. Giving them money directly may not be as valuable as investments.”
“Delaying the purchase of an iPhone 6 for your teenager and investing the money instead which will grow into a considerable amount of money in a number of years is a better option.”
“Put them to work for now, let them use their talents to make money.”
“Your children can give you peace when you train them to use their talents.”
12.30 pm: Enang introduces Kaduna State First Lady, Hadiza El-Rufai, to the guests.
Mrs. El-Rufai says the way children turn out in the end is not dependent on parenting but on DNA make-up, as well as the behaviour of their parents.
“Children learn by copying their parents in behaviour – the good, the bad and the ugly.”
“How can you tell your child to behave well when you abuse drugs or alcohol and do not live a life of tolerance or honesty and compassion,” she asks.
Mrs. El-Rufa is speaking on the topic, Parenting by Example.
“Despite losing two children, I live a life which is exemplary to my other children so they can learn from me in terms of handling adversity,” she says.
“Parents need to stay involved in their children’s lives. They need to be comfortable in sharing their feelings with you.”
“Parenting by example is hard but always worth it at the end of the day as children are always watching their parents.”
12.48 pm: Enang introduces Sonye Allanah, who will speak on The Imperatives of Work-Life Balance on Parenting.
“Parenting has been placed on the back burner,” she says.
“When I started at the ministry of external affairs, I was asked if I was sure I wanted to work there because of the demands of the job. But I got married and I had children. When you find your center, you are able to balance both.”
“What matters most to you as a parent? Is it the children or work?
“Both mothers and fathers struggle when it comes to balancing work and family especially when the children are young.
“One of daily stresses during the work day is child-care needs.
“Most parents are just breeders they do not bring them up.”We are raising a sad generation, the way forward is not buying children expensive things but spending time with them.
12.57 pm: Dr. Adewumi Edward Ayodele Speaking on Reconsidering the nutritional Culture of Families and its effect on Children’s Health
“What do parents teach their daughters and sons these days? How do they learn the art of manhood and womanhood?”
“Ask yourself – Do you sleep enough? Do you finish your to-do lists? Do you do things for yourself? Are you fulfilled?
“Do you spend quality time with your spouse and children?
“If no, find a better balance. Prepare the night before. Plan meals ahead. Buy food items in bulk, if possible. Utilize the internet for paying bills, do online transfers, do online researches.
“Make a family calendar of events, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Hang in the kitchen.”
1.05 P.M. Mrs Sonye Allanah talked on Work, Life and Balancing
Mrs. Alannah contunes, “Being organized will help your children be more organized whether they are male or female.”
“Leave work at work, work will never finish.
“37 per cent of parents find it difficult to switch off from work mode at home.
“Learn to listen to your children when they come to you.
“Focus on quality rather than quantity of time. Set aside one evening a week, to do something you enjoy.
“Divide and conquer, let your spouse and children help with workload.
“Teach your children cultural heritage, traditional values, societal norms and social skills, self-confidence, ethnic and religious tolerance and the Nigerian pride.”
1.24 pm: Adewumi Ayodele starts his speech on the topic: Reconsidering the nutritional culture of families and its effect on children’s health.
“I am here to speak about food,” he says.
“Parents have a role to teach the children when and how to eat.”