Some weeks ago, some men got into an argument on why it’s pointless arguing with a woman. I was of the opinion that arguments are good especially for healthy relationships. No relationship is 100% rosy. Communication is never a wasted effort. Then my friend said to me, Chinenye, why don’t you interview people on reasons why a man should avoid arguments with his girlfriend and I got interesting feedbacks and comments which I would be sharing with you.
1. ATTENTION: Yes, we women naturally love attention from our various boo, “uncle”, “boyfriend”, “maga”, whatever the case may be. We hate being ignored so to spice it up sometimes, we just look for a little thing to get upset about. Instead of getting upset at her, just say “Baby I’m sorry”. That should do the trick as she just wanted a little attention from you.
2. SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT: The truth is even if we know we are not right, the fact that the argument involves “the boyfriend”, just let it go! Guys please, whenever you argue with your girlfriend, always get your facts right because if she happens to be right, haha!! You won’t hear the last of it!
3. SHE ALWAYS HAS TO WIN: She always has to win the argument and prove her point. That is why we have issues of when the guy is at fault but still finds himself saying “Baby, I’m sorry”. As said earlier, these are the three magic words if you do not want to get frustrated because she won’t stop until she wins.
4. HER PITCH IS HIGHER THAN YOURS: If you are the calm-headed guy who does not like “wahala”, just avoid arguing with your babe or any woman at all. It’s safer for you because whenever ladies are upset, we are programmed to raise our voices. That’s why you have situations when an argument is about to reach its peak and the lady raises her voice.
Then the guy says “Tola, reduce your voice, why are you shouting!” but Tola responds “This is my natural voice”. I am sure this sounds familiar. Women have a natural high pitched voice when arguing. It’s not our fault!
5. SHE IS PROGRAMMAMED TO TALK BACK: If you think you want to talk to a lady, always be ready to hear her own side of the story whether you like it or not. We are naturally defensive. Some women even go as far as using abusive words.
Women are not log of woods and figure heads who you expect to swallow every word. Women are naturally competitive and don’t want to be seen as weak, so this comes natural for us. So why start an argument if you know you can’t tolerate this, just walk away homie!
Arguments are exhausting. When you see it’s getting to the peak of the argument, remember “Walk away homie! Or don’t start if you cannot finish it. As much as we annoy each other, we cannot do without each other. Imagine a world with only men or only women?
6. SHE IS EMOTIONAL: Women act with their hearts. When she says those spiteful words to you, half the time, she does not mean them. What man wants to be in a battlefield of tears? When it is getting to this stage, as I said earlier, its two options. Apologise even if she’s wrong, or if you have a bad temper and you can’t handle it, just walk away.
7. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY: Something that was her fault automatically becomes your fault. It’s a gift we have. Even you as the guy never figured it! In the middle of the argument, you start to believe you were the one at fault.
8. SHE DOESN’T LEAVE ANY STONE UNTURNED: When in a serious argument with her boyfriend would never say A and not say B. We make sure all the stones are left unturned.
9. FORGIVE BUT NOT FORGET: This depends on the weight of the argument. During an argument, we tell you that thing you did in relation to this new problem you have created. Detail by detail. Well we can’t help this one. Is it really true when people say ”lets forgive and forget”. Well, women don’t. I can’t explain this but we just don’t.
10. IT’S POINTLESS: At the end of the day, arguments are exhausting, so why start it in the first place. The guys realise this, after the rattling and strive to show who is in charge.
According to Umar Sule, a business development executive and a relationship expert, “Women like to be in control, so a wise man would make her feel she is in control, even if she isn’t to avoid arguments,” he said.