Ose Oyamendan

Posts by Ose Oyamendan:

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Who Will Save The Children? By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

It’s Easter weekend and I’m driving down the Pacific coast, savoring the ocean breeze and listening to Kirk Franklin’s Lean On Me. At this time of the year, I tend to get a little spiritual, not like the traffic spirituality on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway. More like soul-searching with a bit…

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The Pest That Ruined Nigeria, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

I spent my week enjoying the inside of an hospital.  I have never passed the night in the hospital before, except for the birth of my boys. And, even then, you’re free to go and come as you wish. But, not this time. Seven letters ended my streak. Malaria! It’s…

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Say it Ain’t So, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

The social media was abuzz late last week by some emerging news from Nigeria. Normally, when the social media goes off like that it’s always because somebody is showing her tits or some scandal is afoot. But, no – this was all politics. According to the rumor mill, the two…

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Crying For Hope, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

I’m 35,000 feet above the ground, floating in a giant mechanical bird that man calls an airplane. This has become a second home to me. I’ve had immigrations officials say “I just saw you a few days ago” to me at my local airport in Los Angeles. Once, flying was…

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An Open Letter To The Jonatithes, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

Dear Jonatithes; I must apologize for not writing sooner to welcome you to our great capital city. I was a little bit confused as to the protocol of welcoming men and women to a city they visit often and where many of them have homes. But then I saw the…

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Valuable Wives in Power, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

I had no clue there was that much “red” in Nigeria until Valentine’s Day. You gotta love Nigerians, despite the bleakness out there, no one can hold them down. This was something bigger than Christmas and Independence days combined. Even old women who you thought had retired from those things…

Honor Among Politicians, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

They say if you live long enough, you’ll see everything.  Maybe the folks who came up with that phrase were not that wise after all or maybe when they conned that bit of wisdom, they didn’t know the internet will be invented and you cans learn everything by age 12…

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Selling Nigeria Short, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

It’s tough to be Nigeria. If the country could speak, I bet the first words would be “guys, easy! Damn!” We’ve seemed to mastered life going in reverse. If the western scientist were fair, they would have made a study of Nigeria and let the world know how it works.…

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The Great Gay-bacle! By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

Words are a funny thing in life, aren’t they? If someone had walked up to me while I was having a blast in a club twenty years ago and asked if I was gay, the answer would have been a loud, “heck, yeah!” Those were the days when to be…

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That the Youth May Live, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

There is a saying that “the young shall grow.” Hidden in that concept is that they will not only grow but they will grow into a better world and take it over. It’s a legacy a previous generation owe the coming one. It’s a reason why parents pray their children…

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Obasanjo as Man of the Year, By Ose Oyamendan-Eimakhu

I was going to nominate myself for man of the year because, well, I can and as our leaders show us every minute of the day, when you can do something, you do it – it doesn’t matter if its right or wrong.  Then I made a mistake of being…

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Thumbs Up for Amaechi, By Ose Oyamendan

It’s not every day that you walk on the streets or departure and arrival lounges of airports in western countries and something positive about Nigeria stops you dead in your tracks. Often, when you travel with Nigerians, you sense varying degrees of apprehension when they come in front of immigrations…

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A Week Without Planes, By Ose Oyamendan

By now, Stella Oduah would have realized that bit of Biblical text in Ecclesiastes that a season for everything is not a heavenly typo. Not that I’ve been near a church since the last time a friend and his bride lured us there with the promise of cake, rice and…

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Dancing to Jonathan’s Tune, By Ose Oyamendan

I may be wrong but President Goodluck Jonathan’s gotta be one of the most underappreciated leaders of our time, maybe in history. If these were the Biblical times, the odds are high that some angel in flowing white agbada would have rowed down the river on a raining day, stop…

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America, Like Naija, By Ose Oyamendan

This has been an awful week. The Republicans decided to shut down the government in America. If you’re a government employee, it’s like going on leave without pay. To make matters worse, my passport booklet was full and I needed to travel. Government workers take care of those things, which…

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My Tribe is Nigeria, By Ose Oyamendan

A year ago, my five year-old son was asked to give a talk to his class about himself. He stuns his teachers when he tells them he’s Nigerian. The teacher corrects him. “You’re American, your father was Nigerian as were your grandparents,” the head teacher tries to correct him. “No,…

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Best Damn Minister. Period, By Ose Oyamendan

Dear Mr. President; ​I trust you’re well because God knows our dear country needs you more at this time than at any other time. Every time the cold season rolls in, I go to church, barricade myself in and start a fast and marathon prayer for you. I can’t even…

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My Affair With Bianca, By Ose Oyamendan

​I am a man. I have to start with that caveat in case some people think I’m not. I’m also not necessarily anti-women but they need to give men a break. First, they sucked us into eating that miserable apple which meant we have to work instead of lounging by…

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The Prophesy of Uncle Sal, By Ose Oyamendan

I was confused about the whole political logjam in the PDP this week. I read every book, watched all the shows I can and listened to as much radio as possible. But, this is Nigeria. Most times things defy logic. So, I got on my bike and took the long…

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Repping My People, By Ose Oyamendan

God wasn’t joking when he inserted that bit about respecting your parents in the Ten Commandments.  For a long time I felt God was throwing the old folks a bone, knowing the Internet and social media were going to be allies of the kids in sending their parents to bonkers’…

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Do They Remember? By Ose Oyamendan

The Lagos sky is setting on this glorious Saturday evening. Out in the streets, millions of people are wondering where the weekend went, just like they are wondering where their lives are going. A few thousands are getting ready to wash the streets with bottles of champagne. I’m in a…

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King of the Season, By Ose Oyamendan

I love days like this. After the doldrums of the summer, when all you’re consigned to as a sports fan is watching female basketball, here comes life again. Not that anything is wrong watching ten tall, sweaty and screaming women run up and down the court. If they were rolling…

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Be Like Anenih, By Ose Oyamendan

A few years ago, there was this cool Gatorade commercial about basketball legend Michael Jordan. It was a sing and dance thing about people trying to be like Michael Jordan. The chorus was “I wanna be like Mike”. The commercial swept an entire nation into frenzy. I loved it too.…

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A Day for Nigerians, By Ose Oyamendan

Last Wednesday was a day to be proud as a Nigerian. That is if you’re a Nigerian who is not a member of the ruling People’s Democratic Party (PDP. And, the five travelling PDP governors do no count because you gotta have a poker face not to laugh at that…

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Finally, the Senate Approves the Rape of Girls, By Ose Oyamendan

I was finishing a late lunch in Ashkelon in late April when I saw a look of concern on the face of my friend. When you’re in that part of Israel, looks like that often dive.  But, he wasn’t asking me to dive on the floor to shield myself from…